purse owner 4: face ur trash self
by Rouiss
Summary: k so lik this guy named yu pimpkami moves in2 a new town called inababy and suddnly ppl start dyin! :( so it's up 2 him and his trash frend yosuKE hahanerda and che satanka 2 figur out why there town is rlly shitty! Not a serious fic, intended as a parody.


**Serious A/N: This is intended as a parody, and if anything comes off as offensive, my deepest apologies. I've been planning this and writing it at random times during the night which explains grammar going from "k so lik dis guy" to "okay so like". Also I honestly don't remember the beginning of the game, so yeah this is just going off of memory.**

**Not so serious A/N: AY OMGZ GUYS SO LIK I'VE BEEN WANTIN 2 DO THIS 5EVER! K LET'S DO DIS TRASH! **

okay so there was like this guy named you? yeah idk why ur in this story oh shit

oh

oh

fuck

uh uh okay so maybe his name is yu instead.

BUT FIRST

U GOT HIS NAME DAT OKAY.

LOOK LOOK NIC- I MEAN RISE MINAJ IS IN A BIKINI

"lol i'm so pretty lmao listen to my new song or i wll thro u into the tv wurld and beat da shit outta u wi my mic lol! also buy this shitty drink!"

okay so like yu just moved to this city called inababy where all the weirdest shit happens like legit everyone's a baby here. seriously have u seen these nerds they fall into fuckin trashcans and kill ppl.

he was sittin on da train when SUDDENLY THIS SHIT STARTS APPEARINg.

lady bein harassed by cis white male what else is new. oh nevermind false alarm he japanese.

mmk so yu sees this GIANT NOSE.. IS THIS SHIT GOING TO LIKE DECAPIDATE U OR SOMETHING? oh yeah a pretty lady too, BUT THE FUCKIN NOSE MAN. DAT NOSE BRUH. BRUH HIS EYES HAS HE EVEN SLEPT IN LIKE YEARS? ? ? ? ? ?

Annnyywaaayysss

so um like yu was actually heading to iwatodai where all the bad bitches are but sadly that didn't end up well because that fuckin nose bruh started making yu freak out on the train and bam yu kinda stuck in inababy with ur cousin nanako and ur uncle bruhjima.

cue cherry blossoms and one of those memes of party members going "senpai notice me~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~" or just cue some fashionable chick. yes they actually exist much shock. such woah. pickin up some trash that she saw which was probz yu's.

**probably a sign of his true self.**

okay so bruhjima fucked up and ran out of gas for his car. and because u aint got enough dongence yu and bruhjima forced nanako to push the car to the trash station where they belong (ecept nanko cuz she cool)

THERE. YU SEES A CREEPY GUY.

"hey can i tuch ur hand...maybe homo..."

"fuckfuckfuck what is this SHII"

suddenly dat guys hand became like a snake IT FUCKING GROWS BRUH.

no ppl really car tho.

so yu was kinda screwed.

as he was horrified by this totally unimportant minor character, his face showd it.

"heuheuhue ur hand was nic ok bye time to fill ur car up with lvoe..." he seductivy likked his lipppss yummm tasted like NOT HUMAN CAUSE THIS FUCKER HAS TO BE A SNAKE OR SOME SHIT.

yu kinda just went back in the car cuz he was so done with the world why was he stuck in like inababy every1 her is memes. no fair god..

ok so they went home and damn bruhjima has a nice plac. but yu decide 2 use fone because yo his mom and dad shold kno if he alive rite?

WRON.

suddenly his sigt changed iNTO A motha frggin save file. yu havin a wittle wittle bit of common cents asked bruhjima wat was up cuz he knows some shit is wron here.

bruhjima intentsely glarred at yu... "i've seen u in ur diapers bruh..."

he held up his fone and holy shit that was enoguh proof. yu aborted mission. yes. yes good trash.

"da fuq narrator dat was r00d" yu cri in his room lol what a ween. ok he cry hard.

"yooo cousin we have food ready." nanko no wait her name is jesusko oops sry for mix up yelled from downstars.

so dey at dinna 2getha and taht sht was good. but liek bruhjima kept on glarran and mutterin "diapers" and the tv was legit just scremin plot.

"pLOT PLOT PLOT MAYUYU YASUCKNO STAYNG AT AYMOMGEEZ INN WOAH SHE TOTALLY DOESN'T DIE, OH YEA SHE CHEAT. CHEATIN WEEB."

and um bruhjima kinda left or somethin cuz he a dick.

he actualy went and gut drunk. fuckin jesusko cri.

DA NEXT DAY...

okay so um yu was walking to school, overhearing some kids talk about useless shit not even questioning why the walk took so long, when he saw it.

he saw.

some meme in pain lol did u thin i was gunna be cereals rite here? how bout no.

yu preyed to jesusko that the boys testicalls wold recover

then went to skool cause fuck helping npc's.

okay so yu went to the class it was pretty chill. nothin special, i men the class looked depressen as hell bro lik who would enjoy dis shit not me. when suddeNLY THE SAWN OF SATAN ARRIVED.

"my naem is Kinshuthefuckup Memeron." da guy said over his overbite how did his hed even support his overbit how dos he not die.

nyway.

"anyways u city bitch who probably have common sense ye betta not hit on any girls OR I WILL KILL U SONNY."

"...no hetero." yu said.

"ok maybe a lil but like der aren't any hot chiks w/ good personalitos yet."

"fuckin nerd." mr memeron said lol i agree

"U CALLIN ME A LOSER?" YU SAID, MEMRON SHOCKED AS HE CONTINU, "What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo."

yu, u need to chill bruh.

"but we liv in japan transfer kid and i bet u did 2 even tho we speakin english rite nao" some meme said in the back... ey it testical kid.

well memeron was probly havin a stroke or whatever. yu sits in his seat.

school was boring.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP

k so the day end. when lady voice come on the brodcastin systum? so now it's dangan ronpa or whatever lol they gotta kill eachother. or they're just stuck in da classrooms.

"hello protag looking guy" some girl sed, yeah she look pretty normal but whatev. "meh name is chie satanka."

"what" yu said fuck fuck fuck is she satan? ? ? ? ?

"i meant satanoka?"

"ok." yu said, she probz chill.

"and this is yukiko she pretty chill but we're totally homo 4 eachother." she point at pretty girl.

10/10 yu would add her to his harem, and chie was fine 2.

"yo chie." testical kid said.

"hm what is it weeb?"

"ok so take your video and-"

chie open da disk and LOUD GASP.

testical kid try 2 run, BUT GETS KICKED INTO THE SUN BYE.

"HE BROKE MY DISK. WHAT THE FUCK BRO. LIKE WE COULD HAVE HAD IT ALL."

chie broke into adele mode, and yukiko be liek.

"how bout we figure out what the fuck is going on"

"yeah k." yu said.

why the fuck is he so submissive, dude these people are fuckin weird.

"narrator u let the dong control ur mind. the dong will lead to harem."

oh.

um k then so like yu and the christmas duo left the skool

(testical kid is crying somewhere tho just fyi)

as yu and his freindz leve, they are stopped by the creepy saori genderbend.

"heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy yuuuuuuuuuuukiiiiiiikiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii..."

yukiko look uncomfortable.

"dooo u wanna date me or lik no."

"suddnly i am not heterosexual.'

CHIE SNAP AT THAT BURN U GO GURL.

"ooookkkkkk byee have a nice daaaaaaaayyyyyyyy..."

"he was creepy... totlally not pimportnt tho."yu said 2 himselv

"TIME 2 SOLV DA MYSTERY!" yu sed puttin on his sherlck clothes

ppl were talkin about a dead body buuuuuttttt who gives a shit lets just ignore the npcs k? k.

"wtf happened?" chie cry

"why dont we jsut ask-" yukiNO suggested

"no." yu sed, "we gotta wait for a chara with a sprit to tell us da fuq is goin on."

"what." yukino and chie were confuse

"da hell r u kids doin shouldn't u be off on a protag journey or somethin" said bruhjima who was eatin like over 9000! donuts.

"what happened." all 3 ask.

"cheatin woman die. idk why dont u watch that one channel where affairs lead to murder" bruhjima said, "lik don't they have that channle."

"no?" yu sed. "dont we just have like 5 channles? jesusko's fave quiz sho. news. weather. fethermeme R. and tanaka show?"

"fuck we do."

you know there was also a guy talkin about murders to little kids but who cares.

when yu got home jesusko was eatin dinner by herself, and thats fuckin sad bruh, like real talk bruhjima sucks.

the tv drownd da living room in plot about mayomi yesuno? who really gives a crap she ded. but ay her body was fond cooly yo! telefone poles r chill.

ok so yu was goin 2 skool, with liek an infinite walk. i mean it. HE NEVER PROGRESSED HE WAS JUST WALKIN THE SAME STEP OVER AND OVER AGAIN WHIEL THE CAMERA MOV. I SWEAR.

k so um yeh there was a weeb rollin round in a trash can.

it's totes a sign of where he belongs.

insted of liek ignorin it like evryone yu decided to be a decent human being and get that fuckin weeaboo trash out of the trash, but yu should know you can't chnage ppl lik thyll be trash 5ever.

so the guy was testical kids eyyy!

"just so u kno tht was rlly lame and this means i am seme of the relationship" yu sed, testical kid make confuse hand emotions.

"? ? ? ? what? ? ? ? transfer student what are you sayin dude?"

"you now a officl member of my harem have fun with tht k bye." yu said, leaving.

"i didn't even tell u my name dude"

who even gives a shit testical kid.

"i do narrator"

oh fuck, ok so yeh yu helped out this kid named yosuke MORE LIKE yoUKE am i right? ? ? ?

"ok becuz ur protag and (everythn suks) imma follo u so we can be frends k" yosuke smile. fuckin homo.

"oh ok." yu didn't rlly care

"now what's ur twitter"

"i don't have one"

"youtube?"

"no"

"redtube?" youke joked

"pimpkami"

"wtf dude." yosuke looked horrifyed.

"you asked."

"um ok how bout ur tumblr."

" .com"

"r u fuckig cereal"

"i wouldn't give u any TRIX."

"DID U MAKE A FUCKING CEREAL PUN ON ME?"

"did u kno i have a LUCKY CHARM which maks ladys lvoe me?"

"fuck u"

ok SO THEY GOT TO SCHOOL

THEN CHIE BEAT DA SHIT OUTTA YOSUKE BECUZ TRIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF THHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE DRAGON.

which is totally a martial arts film, not like any yiffing happens in there... like totally i swear. STOP LOOKIN LIKE DAT AT ME FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK I SWEAR BRUH.

like guys i swear.

lmao look at that lil shit just cryin on da ground

"yeh k so he's kinda lame let's go" che and yu said in usion

"k" yukiko sed.

"ok but what if we got steak" yosUKE said in pain

"oh fuck u guys, I SWEAR I SAID I WAS ON A VEGAN DIET YOU LITTLE SHITS, YOU KNOW WHAT? SCREW THIS YUKIKO OUT."

oh fuck.

guys

yousuke u fucked up.

and so! da idiot trio went on a journay

k so like they went to da junes

which kinda bothered yu, because like it's Junes. why is it said like JuneS. But we're not judgin this shitty walmart from down da road.

"oh yea did u guys hear about dat rumor?!" che said

"uh no i moved here like 2 days go." yu sed. oh fuck he actually speeks

"is it dat ur dating yukiko?" we alredy knew"

"nah bro, ok soOOOOOOOOOOOO... if u turn off da lights and ur tv or something off at midnight while it rainin, den u'll see trash!" che explain

"um you'd see your reflection anyways" yu said

HOLY FUCK SICK BURN

YU PIMPKAMI HITS GOLD AGAN.

"no! u'll see trash! like yosuke!"

"oh fuck u 2 che"

"at lest i don't own a shitty walmart"

DUDE.

ok so yu and yosuke thought that was pretty tight shit.

"oh hey it's saki-sempai" yosuke said

"oh it's you." saki sed.

she looked pretty pissed off

"sempai u look pretty down"

"no fucking shit hanamura"

"s-sempai!" da dokis happened in yosuke's chest

"ew what the fuck"

"sempai i really lo-"

"oh hey you-,"

"huh wut" yu said, oh fuck someone should give him a new name that'll confuse him

i'll just lev it up 2 u guys in da reviews!

"oh. ur the transfer student"

"yeah i am"

"you-"

"yes"

"Okay I'm just letting ya know, get better friends.".

yu put his hand on her shoulder.

"THE SOCIAL LINKS. THEY ARE IMPORTANT. IF I FUCK UP AGAIN ON NEW GAME PLUS I WILL FUCKING DIE."

"wait what-?!"

"oh i just tellin u that they're good frends i wanna make bonds with!"

"okay..."

saki left and nobody asked questions mk.

LATER DAT NITE . . . . . .

Mk so jesusko and yu ate dinner dat night jesusko was being sweet as always. sooooOOO... oh yea der was dis like shitty as fuck censor bar over saki's eyes like dude she found a dead body yea but was she glaring dicks at u?

nyways

yu decided 2 try out da midnite channle

he made sure twas still raining even tho he should hear it, and waited

and waited

then somethin come on da tv!

it was a highschool girl.

"pfft trash, oh shit is she a social link. DID I FUCK UP ANOTHER SOCIAL LINK...? no wait! i didn't even kno them long enough!" yu didn't give a shit dat person was probz gonna die

he went to turn da tv off becuz like ew trash. and slipped! oH FUCK HOLY SHIT

HIS ARM

WENT

INSIDE

THE TV

yu cri and decide not to fuck with that weird ass voodoo shit ever agin

k so anyways NEXT DAY...

"so guys did u see trash" che said

"..." yu's silent protag PERSONAlity was kickin in fuck fukc fuck

"i saw saki-sempai! but she's not trash!" yosuke cry

"ok guys but my fucking tv tried to eat me. this is real talk, i was almost sucked into god knows where and could have died, i am too pimp for this shit guys help" yu was very cereal

"u wanna jump into a tv, well fuck i need one anyways so let's go"

"fuckin nerd this isn't an anime u can't do cray shit like dat"

so dey went to the shitty walmart

yeah so while those two side chars were talking yu just kinda started climbin in da tv which scared the living fuck out of the brown haired nerds

"HOLY SHIT DUDE"

"DUDE"

"u know what fuck u guys for not beliving in me" yu said as he dragged both his frends in with them

k so like one broken ass, a broken arm, and a sprained ankle l8r dey arrived in this gross yellow fog studio set

"oh what the fuck"

"are we in one of those shit megane knock off games?" yosuke sed

"well we're gonna fuckin die if we do nothin so let's go explore"

and SO... WITH THEIR HERTS FULL OF EXXCITMENT DA IDIOT TRIO WENT ON A JOURNAY 2 FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON...

...

...

or they got lost within 5 mins and wanted 2 go home but whatever

2 B CONTINUE...

**A/N: OMGZ DAT WAS SO DRAMATIC! lik so did u lik dis story? what should yu's new name b... hm oh well plz continu readin this becuz we will get 2 da drama sooooon! have a good day u memes! xoxo**


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